Beauty Testing - testing 1..2..3!

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Beauty with Photographer Tory Rust, Makeup Artist Denika Bedrossian, Hair Florido, and Stylist Ashley Rose Weber

More than just gratitude, I am blessed to be able to work with artists in this way. To be able to be a canvas for others and yourself all at once. Being a model allows you to be creative with your physical self, your movements, your emotion, especially when testing. Theres an openness to creativity and ideas when testing. We aren't held back by specific set of rules. You get to push boundaries, you get to be a character youve never been, you get to try something new.

If I had to explain a test shoot id say they are all different, for the obvious reason being every team is unique and every artist is as well. The way the photographer shoots, the makeup and how far you push it, the creativity of hair and the extreme changes it can make, the styling textures and color palette, everyone works together to make a single thing happen. Its important to note we are all freelancers—doing this for our portfolios and whatnot so the fact that a team can work hours into something that we basically create for free is something of a meaningful reward in itself.

I think its important to highlight these artists and the incredible work everyone is doing. Ive worked with both Denika and Florido before (I mentioned them on my Haus Lab shoot post because they did Makeup and Hair and I love their work so much)

Working with them brings a huge smile to my face, I gravitated towards their energy immediately. When you're on set you spend a lot of time with the team. You're sitting in their chairs, getting comfortable, and talking to them while the crazy chaotic set up happens around you. It’s all a special way of connection for me.

Tory is an incredible photographer and I’ve seen their beauty work around often, I was so excited to be able to work with them. Ashley had great jewelry pieces and even though it was mainly beauty work, her clothing rack had pieces I wanted for myself! I hope to get to work with everyone again.

I'm observant so modeling to me is a way to connect and observe others around me. I see everyone at work doing their specific job to make these stills happen. A beautiful image you see online can be seen and scrolled down in a flash, but when you are on set you see the hours everyone puts into their jobs. Its a beautiful energy transference.

Okay enough of me talking, if you got this far scroll a little more down for the photos from the shoot. Ive been wanting to do more beauty work since I started modeling. This team was so sweet and I am extremely thankful and grateful to have worked with all of them.

Refugio Seguro: In my Daze

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My safe haven: a shelter. Having a home that feels like home is of the upmost importance to me. I always felt it was the foundation of my comforts. My mom created a warm energy at home, as a child, I felt safe. I grew to crave that safety for myself, away from the troubles of the outside. A grounding space where the outside world couldn't reach me.

I spent all of my educational years going to the westside and back. If I can briefly paint a picture in your mind: that means waking up at 5 am in elementary and middle school to take the 405 to Santa Monica, waking up early to go to the family friends house that was between home and school to carpool with the other kids, taking 3 buses to Venice and 3 buses back to Koreatown in high school, taking the early morning bus until I saw the big blue bus. You know you're on the westside if you see the big blue bus. I spent a lot of time away from home and a heck of a lot of hours in buses.

In places where moments flew by, sitting in transitional passings of time. You exhaust yourself commuting to and from places so much that craving a comfortable home becomes easy. Now, im 25 years old and ive only been in transitional homes throughout my adulthood already, never resting long enough to unpack the physical boxes that carry my life in them.

I remember every year, telling myself id be out of my moms house by a certain age. Every year it wasn't happening would add weight and pressure to my livelihood. Without realizing, as I started panicking less about my living situation, things began to move on their own. It’s important to remember not to add that pressure to ourselves, our time for moments are meant to happen naturally. However hard or easy it may be.

And now I'm able to sit and feel safe, in my own home smoking a spliff, drinking a coffee and writing about my space, my safe haven. My boxes are unpacked, the sun is starting to peak through the blinds in the living room, the birds are singing early tunes, and calmness travels through the apartment. My safe haven: My Daze: home. It is strange to be past a feeling that you can so deeply remember. Feeling stuck, feeling like you’re in a cage. As time passes, so do our experiences and circumstances.

In my Daze is a series of thoughts, in introspection.

To:Day feels Calm at 2:20pm

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I feel calm. I feel that things are alright, if not better than alright! I am living to celebrate every win and work through every battle.

I got to work with a beautiful team on Sunday, shot for Union LA x Jordan! I really mean a beautiful team, the energy was magnetic. We all worked 13+ hours and still held it together. I was worried my body woudnt’t react well to jumping into being active all of a sudden but I got through it wonderfully!

I have been resting since, painting my fibromyalgia symptoms in as many canvases as I can fill. To:Day I feel grateful to be alive.